Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Sex!

I knew it was coming (No pun intended). This year has brought the big question of sex to our home. I have a few good books on the subject and have informed myself adequately - I hope! A bit belatedly however; as when T1 first asked "What is sex" a year or so ago I automatically responded: "I don't know"... According to the parenting gurus the worst thing one could do. (Oh well, I'll give her an extra couple of hours out of the cellar to make up for it.)
But on a more serious note this has opened up yet another area of self discovery for me as a mother. Looking at how we carry the messages we received as children, and making a conscious decision about what messages we want to give our own children.

A couple of weeks ago T1 brought home a notebook in which a classmate had written the words
I LOEV U
BOYS
SXE

Needless to say, I panicked. I knew that this time I couldn't just let it slide. If it was being discussed outside our home I was obliged to make sure that my voice was also heard. So, out came all the books and notes from workshops and reviewing my personal views on sex.
It took a few days for her to feel comfortable with sharing the notebook with me. Of course being a Good Mother I had sneaked a peak at the book as soon as she got home, so I had a few days to prepare.
And so the day arrived when T1 drew me aside and showed me what K had written. I followed my gut and asked her if she knew what the words said. Then I asked her if she knew what they meant, and was quite satisfied with her understanding of sex; which agreed with what the books said a six year old should be told.
And then being myself I couldn't resist the urge to teach her the correct way to spell SEX.

Yesterday T1 came home asking if I knew what "mating" was. Apparently they had discovered two butterflies in the act in the school garden. I think I handled the situation a lot better this time round. Somehow butterflies are a lot easier than boys.
I am sufficiently deviant however to have taken great pleasure from explaining to T1 how female praying mantises eat their mates after intercourse...

3 comments:

Fioleta said...

:-D my first response would be "I don't know.." as well. I don't seem to be worried about the sex questions, its the others about the big bad world that scare me. How do you explain wars, violence and such to a child?

Pen+Ink said...

I am struggling with the fact that there are in fact some things out there that neither your gaurdian angel or your parents will be able to protect you from.
I lie awake at night with the fear that there may come a time that even though I would give my life to do so, I will not be able to protect my child from harm!

meili_lo said...

oh my... if my son asks me about it someday, i also don't know how to explain the birds and the bees stuff! =) but i better prepare...or my husband should?!

anyway, i saw you in one of the blogs i visited and thought of inviting you to my site. hope you can spend a portion of your blogging time to check it out and share you thoughts. would really appreciate it if you can.

http://shewritesyouwrite.blogspot.com/

thanks!